


Preferred

by glitterDino



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:22:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterDino/pseuds/glitterDino
Summary: Names are important, even if you've had a thousand of them.
Relationships: Harold Finch/John Reese
Comments: 11
Kudos: 27





	Preferred

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: [偏爱](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23040502) by [WatermelonJuiceGood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatermelonJuiceGood/pseuds/WatermelonJuiceGood)



Memories ran through my mind a thousand times, the pain, the screaming, the despair of never being able to make them go away every time they came back when she opened that mouth of hers. Every damn time her breath ran out free and shaped into those sounds in that particular order. The horror she materialized, the hell it made out of my life, every time she said that cursed name.

Hated it, the way it sounded, the way her tongue rolled when she spelled it; the way she looked at me when she called my name; and mainly, hated the way that name fitted me, as if God himself had chosen it for me and told anyone but her. It never mattered whether I liked it or not, I always attended, to that voice, to that face that reminded me of who I were.

I was never able to forget it though, didn’t matter how much I drank, how many times I would let myself get beated until passing out, every time, when I would get up, that name would be the only thing I would know.

The same way I could never get to forget the color of her eyes, the way her hair slipped through her back and waved when she walked, or the last time I got to see her. I never thought that it would come the day when I would be aiming for someone to call that name.

It came to me as a sort of twisted fate, as if something out there was trying to keep me alive for some major reason. As if I hadn’t had enough of everything, this idiot comes to me telling me what was best for me, how should I be addressed, how to keep going on… Just like her. But, surprisingly, I don’t feel any pain.

It wasn’t difficult to get into it: same work line, same risks and the same goddamned name, along with the feeling that I would never be able to get to know anything beyond the impending doom that always came; except every time I would wonder why I kept acting like that, why everything was the same but essentially different, because every time common sense said ‘run away’ I just kept trusting. 

Every time I could got left behind, he kept coming for me.

Everyday felt like we were miles away yet substantially together.

As if everyday an invisible barrier would fade away at the premise of a light touch that never came.

That voice followed me everywhere, liked the way it filled my head, left no place for the ghosts that haunted my mind, the way it made me fell alive again when I would wake up wounded at wherever place he sent me.

Eventually I found myself aiming for more, at the edge of the line just waiting for that voice to come, the simple yet wonderful sound I came to adore.  
But that, he could never know.

-Anything wrong Mr. Reese?- he said in his ever calmed tone  
-It’s nothing. Let’s go.

**Author's Note:**

> First fic ever, I've always wondered how John felt about his name so I wrote this.  
> Feel free to point out any grammar mistakes.  
> Thanks for reading.


End file.
